It feels like forever since I actually sat down and posted on the blog. I have been so busy with work and trying to do some Christmas shopping, etc. that I have barely had time to even read email. Work is incredibly busy with everyone else trying to wrap things up for year-end so they can be off the next two weeks. So, they are bogging my time down trying to get their projects done and consequently, my own are having to take a back seat or I'm having to stay late to work on them.
Sorry, I'm feeling down today.
It has been an emotional week at church the last two Sundays. I meant to post about last Sunday's service, but again, I never had a chance. Brother and Sister Benson were the speakers in Sacrament Meeting and honestly, I just love to listen to Amy (Dave, you're cool too, but that woman of yours is ... well, probably one of the most spiritually in-tune people I've ever met). She spoke about the Gifts of Christmas. There were two that stuck out in my mind that I wanted to capture here, actually, there were more, but two that really stand out.
The first was Motherhood. She spoke about Mary and about she, herself, also being a mother. I cried while listening to her. Oh, how I yearn for the day I can hold a child of my own in my arms! I doubt I will ever want to let him go! I will want to keep him close to me forever because it will have taken so long for him to come into my life. I have been on an emotional roller coaster regarding this all my adult life, but the last while has been the ride of all rides. One minute I'm excited about a possible change in our lives regarding this, the next minute, I feel deflated, crushed, and just down-trodden. I don't want to share anything about this particular situation right now but will when the time is right. Please respect our privacy and don't call around to family and friends to try to find out what the situation is. Just know that we will share when we're ready.
The second gift (but last in her talk) was the Savior. At this time of the year, my thoughts are turned, more than normal, to my Savior. He IS the greatest gift we could ever receive! Without Him, we are and we have nothing. I am so glad He is a part of my life. I put all my faith in Him that things will work out the way they are supposed to in my life.
The sad thing too about the Bensons speaking is that they are moving. Today was actually their last Sunday in the ward and Dave was released from being in the Bishopric. I will so miss Amy's Gospel Doctrine lessons! I've never gotten such great insight into the scriptures as I do when I'm in her classes! I will truly miss her.
And, since they released Bro. Benson today, that meant they replaced him with someone new. I guessed it would be Scott Russell. He was one of three people I predicted. A while back, he and Hillary spoke in Sacrament meeting. I think I had just found out that the Bensons were moving and I distinctly remember listening to him speak and I leaned over to Clint and said "There's the newest member of the Bishopric." His talk was so powerful. I know Bishop Kelly was inspired to call him. Anyhow, today was the day when he was sustained and he and Hillary had to share their testimonies. It was such a spiritual part of the meeting. It was nice to sit there in church and actually FEEL the Spirit, rather than not, as usually happens to us in our ward.
I guess another thing that is hanging over me, making me sad is that next Sunday, Clint and I have to speak in Sacrament. At first, when Brother Benson asked if we would, I thought that the topic would be extremely easy to speak about. But, today, as it's only a week away now, I am quickly becoming petrified because nothing is coming to me as an insight into what I need to say. Since it is the day before Christmas Eve, I want it to help people remember the TRUE reason for Christmas. I want it to be wholly spiritual. But, NOTHING is coming to me!
On a slightly up note though, one of our home teachers stopped by this afternoon and brought his children with him. They caroled to me in front of our Christmas tree. It was so sweet. I had to fight the tears back a little. All three kids just stood there singing happily with their dad. How cool is that?!?!? Oh, and they brought homemade candy too! His wife made it and inside was peanut brittle, fudge, and that soft buttery stuff rolled up in the wax paper. Oh my. That was like heaven!
I've been trying to find my special story for the Christmas Eve program, but still to no avail. Each year, we host Christmas Eve at our house. Lisa, Craig, Curtis, Becky, Auntie Sigie, and Uncle Ward all come. We have our traditional Christmas Eve dinner - which Curtis TOTALLY LOVES and then we have a spiritual program. Each family member has a part on the program. Usually, I am the last person. I try to find something Christmasy to read and then I give each family a little something to take with them that reminds them of the story I shared. This year I found the coolest little thing. But, it's been so hard trying to find a story that goes with the item this year. I think I may have found one today. I'm going to search again tomorrow if I can.
I just finished about 7 Christmas presents on Friday night and wrapped them last night. I hope people like them! As for that though, I wish I had more done. Nothing else is ready! And, I HAVE to send it tomorrow so the family gets it in time for the holiday. I just needed a break so that's why I'm on here writing this.
So I guess that's it for now. Hope to hear from all of you soon.