Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is my Mom's birthday. She would have been 65. I miss her but know she is finally feeling well and is no longer freezing. I am so GRATEFUL for all she taught me. She always felt like she had failed as a mother when we kids would fight. I would tell her, "There are worse things in life than your kids fighting and just because your kids fight doesn't mean that you're a bad mother." She was upset with me not getting married in the temple right off. We had our disagreements about that, but she still ended up loving Rex like her own son. I knew when he announced he was gay, that it would be incredibly difficult on her, just as it was on me. Mom died just the day after she found out he was gay. I got angry with her the night before she died because she told people about him being gay even though I asked her not to. I often blame myself for her dying, but I really know that her health was just bad and that it was her time, but it is so coincidental that she died the next day.

Mom loved parties. She loved getting together with friends and family. She loved good food...and I am so like her on that one! She loved her grandbabies - each and every one - and wanted as many as she could have. I feel sad that I was never able to give her one or two or five. I think maybe with Rex's situation, that it was for the best. I firmly believe that Mom had something to do with Clint and I meeting and getting married. I think she would like him. I think she would be happy that he makes me happy and that he ensures we follow the gospel teachings. I know she would be happy that we were sealed in the temple so quickly as our clearances came through. I know she finally felt "complete" once all five of her children had been through the temple and were active members of the church. I think she finally felt like her "work" was done here on earth.

I hope you knew my mom. If you did, you knew a wonderful, giving, LADY - not just a woman, but truly an elect lady. If you didn't know her, you missed out.

Went Visiting Teaching tonight to one of our sisters. Casey and I had a very nice discussion with her. She is very quiet and I sometimes wonder if she's just like that or if she doesn't care for me. I don't know. I hope it's the first one. I hope I've never offended her. Missed our second sister this month. Time just escaped us. Will try harder in June.

After we were done VTing, Casey and I came back to the house and worked on our posters for HFPE this month. So cute! They weren't quite finished so I couldn't take a picture of them, but I think they are awesome. It's going to be a fun night. More about it as it gets closer...wouldn't want to let the "snake out of the bag!" All I can say is it is "Survivor" based. Will post a picture once I take it. Oh, and I'm setting up a blog about all of our HFPEs. You can check it out here.

Off to bed now!