This week has been difficult. On Sunday night, around 1 a.m., I developed a severe case of diarrhea. It has lasted up until Friday - and it only stopped then because I had nothing left in me to come out. It was miserable trying to deal with this while at work. And it was miserable knowing that every time I ate something, I'd soon be losing it. So, finally I just stopped eating.
As of last night, I hadn't eaten in almost 3 days. I was content with that because I could stand to lose weight, as we all know, and I honestly didn't want to spend anymore time in the bathroom. But, yesterday, I finally ate 1/4 of a bagel in the morning, and then about a cup of rice in the late afternoon. Even though they were so bland and literally tasteless, they tasted good. Finally, around 11 p.m., I decided I wanted something to eat. I went to the fridge. There has been a GINORMOUS watermelon in the fridge now for a week, calling to me, over and over, EAT ME, EAT ME! But, I knew that likely would not be a good thing with the diarrhea. So, after considering all my options, too salty, too acidic, too this, too that, I settled on some plain ol' romaine lettuce and some ranch dressing. It tasted SO GOOD.
The big problem yesterday though was not diarrhea...it's been back pain. I've wondered if it was kidney pain for not drinking enough water but I've been drinking as much water and Powerade as I can handle. I thought maybe it was just a sore back from sitting on the sofa all day. But, now, I wonder if I have a kidney stone because the output isn't as much as the input. Trying to go to sleep last night was horrific. I cried myself to sleep because the pain was so bad and because Melon Man wasn't here to give me a blessing either. It was almost 2 a.m. before I finally found a semi-comfortable position that wasn't so painful and I fell asleep. However, about 3 a.m., I woke up and had to pee. At 6 a.m. Melon Man called on his last break to see how I was doing. I've been up ever since. Hopefully, I will be able to take a nap today and feel better. He's bringing home some cranberry juice so that should help too, I think.
I was supposed to be going to the temple today for a sealing of a family in our ward that has come so far in the last two years. I was so looking forward to seeing them be sealed for eternity, especially with their sweet little children. But, I had to call Brenda last night and tell her how sad I was that I wasn't going to be able to be there today. I broke down in tears telling her. I doubt I'll be able to go to their little get together this evening either. Dang times 100. Besides going to the temple for them, I'd really wanted to stay and do a session on my own. I haven't been to the temple in probably a year and I am really in need of going and feeling the peace and comfort of my Heavenly Father there. I have a few things on my mind and one that is weighing heavily on my heart that I needed time there to meditate on and receive some inspiration. I begged Heavenly Father last night to please heal me so I could go today, but I guess it just was not meant to be this time.
Because I have to take my happy pills with food, it's been quite the feat this week to try and get them in - in fact, almost impossible. Without a good amount of food, they make me severely nauseous. Therefore, my emotions have been on my cuff constantly and I tend to cry at the simplest of things. Jennifer emailed me more pictures of trek and I cried. As I write this blog post, I am crying. Usually I can endure pain, but last night, nope. I cried then too. But, most of all, as I finished up the last of the ward bulletin last night (it's a good thing I'd already done the majority of it early in the week), I was looking for something to go in the Words from Our Leaders section and found the Mormon Message video below and sobbed through the entire thing. I knew it was the right thing for me at the moment, but also that someone else out there in our ward may be in need of it as well. So, I found the text version of it and added it to the bulletin. It's called Good Things to Come...(click on this link if the video doesn't appear for you.)