Yep, I started bleeding again tonight. It's pretty light right now, but I am incredibly sad about it. I'm supposed to leave for Ohio in the morning and now I'm not sure if I should. I've felt pressure in my uterus all day and I wonder if it's filling up with clots. I haven't felt real well all day. I just don't know what is going on with me and my body. It literally just sucks.
Melon Man gave me a blessing tonight before he went to bed and although I tried to remain faithful during and after it, I felt that something just is not right. I wonder if Melon man felt the same way because as he was speaking, he paused a few times as if he was struggling to find words that would not be worrisome.
I really wish my mom was here with me right now. She's been through this crap. I want to ask her questions. I want to hear her sweet voice of concern but reassurance. But, I can't because she's dead. I'm so mad right now that she's gone!
Sorry....pity party for the cry baby....
We went to church today and there was a man who spoke so passionately about the Savior. He was from Peru and had a VERY heavy accent. At times it was difficult to understand him but it made everyone pay more attention to try to understand what he was saying. At the very beginning, he spoke about how last week he was late for church and he had to sit out in the foyer during the Sacrament. He waited and waited for the deacon to bring the sacrament out to the foyer, but he never did. He compared partaking of the sacrament to being with the Savior in the hours before he was crucified and he feels as if he is personally invited to sit at the table with the Lord during the last supper. He spoke of the parable of the 10 virgins - how we need to prepare to take the sacrament and how we need to prepare for the coming of the Lord - that He will come as a thief in the night - when we least expect it. His talk was very powerful, very animated, and truly heartfelt. It truly touched me.
I made a pork loin roast again for dinner today with my secret prime rib rub. This time I was sure to cook it just the right amount of time so it didn't dry out like last time. We were able to eat right when Melon Man got home from the special Priesthood meeting tonight. I made some fried cabbage and salad to go with it. I was going to make some potatoes too, but I just didn't have it in me. I feel really truly exhausted. I finished up 3 loads of laundry (yes, I know I shouldn't have done them on Sunday but they had to get done before I leave) and I put the big bag of rice into the food storage buckets. Other than that, I didn't get much else done of the things that were on my list. Hopefully, Melon Man will get the list I'm leaving for him done while I am gone along with a few things not on the list and that will help me for when I get back.
I'm really excited for Julie and her family to come next Saturday. It seems like forever since we've seen them, even though it's only been a few weeks.
Today I am thankful for Priesthood blessings. Even though I'm a little uncomfortable with the feeling I had during mine tonight, I'm grateful to know that the power of the Priesthood is there to give me comfort, to heal, to guide in times of need. And, I'm grateful that Melon Man has a direct line of Priesthood authority all the way back to our Savior.