While taking twice the number of pills originally prescribed to help with my little bleeding problem, the clots and the frequent trips to the bathroom have returned. Yesterday I couldn't take it any longer. I called the doctor's office and, of course, had to leave a message for the doctor's nurse rather than actually being able to talk to her right away. I hate that. I realize they have work to do, but seriously, sometimes you just need to talk to them rather than wait 24-48 hours for a return call. They just say that if it's that serious, you should "hang up and dial 9-1-1." Yeah, right.
Anyhow, I couldn't take it any longer. I called. I left a weeping, sobbing message on her voicemail asking her to please check into having my surgery done sooner than the end of the month. Today, the scheduler called me and let me know that my surgery has been rescheduled for the 16th. Yay! But wait....oh no....the work holiday dinner is on the 17th. We're setting up on the 16th. This truly can't be happening. Which do I choose? I'm a big part of the whole shebang at work. The decor - my idea. The tickets and scheduling - my responsibility. The setup and serving change - yeah, partially my idea. Now, I have to put my faith in others that it will all work out. I know it will be "fine" but I want it to be spectacular. I want it to come off just perfect. Do I truly have the faith in others that it will? No, unfortunately, and that sucks. It sucks because I should have faith in others. It sucks because my brain thinks it's better than other brains and that other brains can't do things as well as my brain. (I'm 'personally' not like that - just my brain is.) BUT, this time, my health comes first. I just can't give in this time. I'm miserable like this. I have no energy. I have no strength. I KNOW something is wrong inside of me. I can 'feel' it. Maybe the increased bleeding is a sign to hurry up and get this taken care of. So, that's what I'm doing.
So, I have my pre-op appointment and labs this Friday, along with the church Christmas party that evening. Then, Saturday, is cleaning and trying to finish up some Christmas presents. Sunday, church. Monday will be a long day making sure everyone is scheduled and tickets are printed. Tuesday, wrap up some regular work and then Wednesday it happens. I have to be there at 11, with surgery scheduled for 1 PM. It's only supposed to take about 30 minutes, but one never knows. I just hope we find out what the heck is going on. I've been excited about it up until today and now I'm nervous. I have to remember to tell them to tape my boobs down away from my neck so they don't smother me.....oh the joys of being a woman.