Monday, February 15, 2010

A Lesson Learned

Yesterday I did something someone else.

I'm completely embarassed to even admit that I did this, but I hope that someday, someone will find this blog entry and it will make a difference in their life like realizing what I'd done did for me.  Hopefully, it will teach them a lesson like it did me.  Hopefully, they won't make the same mistake I made.

There is a blog that I follow because the girl who writes it does very nice word art and gives away a freebie every single day.  A lot of her word arts are gospel-centered and are in formats that I can use for vinyl projects. 

But, after reading her blog for 2 years now, I'd had enough regarding the other stuff she includes on her blog.  I don't want to go into everything that she writes about, or what it was that finally set me off, but just know that it must have been enough of whatever to cause me to actually sit down and write a mean comment on her blog.  Yes, I admit it.  I wrote a VERY mean and unwarranted comment on her blog and posted it anonymously.  She didn't deserve it.  It's her own blog.  She can write whatever she wants on it.  She can say whatever she wants to say.  Again, it's her own blog.  I don't HAVE to read it.  I had NO RIGHT to say what I did.  I considered not clicking on the "Post Comment" button for quite a long time.  Something kept telling me not to, but I finally did anyway.  About 1/8th of a second after I did, I wished I hadn't.  It was wrong of me.  So completely wrong.  It was mean.  It was horrible of me to do that.  I wished I could have taken it back - like an undo.  But, I couldn't.  It was done.  And immediately...I felt horrible.  About 5 minutes after posting, I posted an apology.  I struggled all afternoon emotionally.  I knew what I'd done was a very bad thing.  So very un-Christlike.  I cried.  I wanted to just reach out and call her to apologize, but that wasn't possible.  I hoped she'd see my apology.  And, I hoped that she just wouldn't even see my comment.

But, today, I quickly discovered that she did, in fact, see my comment.  And, once again, I was so disappointed in myself.  Happy birthday to me.  My whole day was quite the downer because I knew I'd hurt someone's feelings.  Although she noted on her blog that "sticks and stones can't break her bones" and she'd brushed it off, I'm sure that it really did hurt her feelings.

I know that the grief I've felt over the last two days has been fully deserved and probably far more painful for me than the hurtful words I sent to this girl.  And, I'm glad that I was forced to endure the pain and anguish I've gone through the last 24-36 will make me a much better person in the long run.

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