Oh my, I'm so sorry to bore you with my problems! I just re-read through the last week's worth of posts and how sad and negative they have been! Well, I've got another one to add to it. :( I'll try harder tomorrow to be more positive.
So my sister called me yesterday and told me that the whole family (except Julie's family) is getting together at her house for Christmas Eve this year. They are doing the traditional Christmas Eve dinner and program. I can only imagine the children's faces in the glow of the Christmas lights. I can only imagine the tears that will be shed that night as memories of my mom are recounted. I can only imagine all the laughter that tends to happen on Christmas Eve among my family. I can only imagine the spirit in the room as the story from Luke is read and the birth of our Savior is told. All the kids (and probably Grandpa too) will sleep in the basement. All the adults (except Grandpa) will sleep upstairs. I can only imagine the way the family room will look in the morning with each family's presents (and those from Santa) all over the room! I can only imagine the excitement in the kids' voices as they yell up the stairs asking if they can come up to see if Santa has been there. And, I can only imagine the smiles on the kids' faces as they reach the top of the stairs to see that Santa truly has found where each of them were that night! But, that is all that I will be able to do...imagine all of this. We can't go to Utah for Christmas because Clint most likely will not get Christmas Eve Day off of work. How much fun that would be to be there with all of them! I am so teary-eyed today because of this. Yes, I am the one who chooses to continue to live here, but this is where my life is. My home, my job, everything. Who knows...someday maybe we will move there. But for now, our life is here. And, unfortunately, missing wonderful times like this are part of this life.