Thursday, February 7, 2008

Forever Four-Eyes :(

So about 6 or 7 years ago, I was driving to work and ended up having to wear two pair of sunglasses and nearly close my eyes (super squint) the entire way to work just to be able to see well enough to get there without wrecking. The cause - ulcers on my corneas. Ouchy. Seriously. I mean, I've never had the opportunity to give birth, but I imagine that that pain was about the same as the amount of pain my eyes were in that day.

As soon as I arrived at work, I called to get an appointment with an eye doctor. The next day I was finally able to get in. Dr. Lambert examined my eyes closely and was VERY quiet while doing so...not a good sign. (By the know how they always shoot light into your eyes to see what's going on? Well, that is NOT FUN when light makes your eyes feel like they're on fire!) She finally pulled the machines from my eyes, laid her pen down on the counter, intertwined her fingers and laid her hands down resolutely in her lap. She looked up at me and gave me the news....I was incredibly lucky to even be able to still see and I would NEVER wear contacts again. I started crying. She asked why I was crying and the vanity in me came out 110%. I was crying because I was going to look ugly in glasses, not because I almost lost my eyesight. She assured me I would not look ugly and that the optical folks would help me choose some nice glasses.

The cause of my problem...wearing my contacts way too long each day and not getting enough oxygen to my eyes. I had to put steroid drops into my eyes for about 10 days to try to get the newly grown capillaries to subside and go away, etc., etc., etc... I had to go back every other day for 2 weeks (paying a co-pay every time - ouch), then once a week for 4 weeks, then every other week for 2 months, then once a month for 3 months, then once every 3 months, then twice a year, then once a year, now I'm up to once every 2 years.

Two years ago during my visit, I asked about contacts (promising to only wear them for 8 hours a day) and was told no - there were still "ghost vessels" in my eyes and she didn't want to risk it. Well, I just went today for a checkup and asked again. She really looked at my eyes and unfortunately, since the vessels haven't really gone down in the last two years, the answer was no, not ever. I would be stuck wearing glasses every single day for the rest of my life - a thought I was not happy about at all...but I was still incredibly grateful that I had not lost my sight for that would have been far more devastating that having to wear glasses. I was encouraged a little about the possibility of Lasik, but after hearing the cost - $3500 for both eyes, I guess that's out - it's just too much money for me to spend on something so related to vanity.

So, I went to the on-site optical center and chose some stylin' new glasses that will help me NOT feel like the rollie-pollie fat girl with the four eyes that I am. I cannot wait to get them! They are much more modern and actually make me feel cute! It's amazing how such simple things as glasses can make us feel down about ourselves (especially when excess weight is really worse than glasses). But...hopefully now I will have more confidence in my looks and feel better enough about myself that I will try to improve the rest of me. Pictures to come!

No comments: