I Feel Like a New Woman...Sort Of...

Surgery went really well yesterday.  I left the hospital around 4:30 p.m. and Auntie Sigie and Uncle Ward took me home and got me settled.  The whole experience was quite weird...

Melon Man and I left the house around 10:30 with Auntie Sigie and Uncle Ward in tow and headed to the post office to drop off a vinyl shipment to a customer before heading to the hospital.  We arrived and Melon Man, being the chivalrous dude he is, tried to do a very nice thing and pull right up in front of the main door so I could get out and not have to walk a long way.  But, he pulled in going the wrong direction and immediately some old guy volunteer was out there chastizing him.  I stood up for him to the guy and he backed out and went and parked.  Soon, we were all walking to the check-in area.  Then, we went to another check-in area and they quickly hauled me away.  I said my teary good-byes to Melon Man and I was gone.  I got into my own little "private" area and got changed out of my clothes, urinated into a cup, found out AGAIN that I was definitely not pregnant, and got my IV tube shoved into my hand.  Oh, and I got two shots of jewish penis from across the way when the dude in the bed across the "hall" got up to go to the bathroom and then when he got back into bed.

Melon Man finally got to come in and visit and Dr. Forest came in and chatted with us while he was there.  He remembered Melon Man's first wife and I quickly announced that I was the second, younger, better wife.  It seemed like I waited and waited forever until it was time to go to surgery.  Enough time that Auntie was able to come be with me for a while.  The anesthesiologist, Dr. Hill, came in and talked to me and I shared my fear of not waking up from the anesthesia with him.  He promised me I would be okay.  I told him to please have someone tape down my boobs so they didn't push down on my neck and smother me and again he promised me I'd be okay and that the tube down my throat would ensure I breathed okay.  Soon, he was gone and we just sat there.  But, soon it was time and they wheeled me down the hallway with a sexy blue hair net on.  I said goodbye to Auntie at the crossroads as they call it and in I went. 

Oh my...the room was like ice.  It was so cold in there.  I smooshed over to the operating table and they strapped me in.  They laid my arms out to the sides so I was in a T shape.  My back started hurting from laying so flat so they gave me some pillows under my legs (until they, of course, were going to put them in the lovely stirrups for surgery!).  They gave me some warm blankets and I was good....except that my boobs were falling back onto my neck and smothering me just like I told them they would!  So, here I was, holding my boobs down my chest to keep them off my neck.  Bobbi, my OR nurse, came over and was talking to me and introducing me to another nurse that was going to be helping out and I promptly told her that her job was to hold my boobs down.  But, cute Bobbi, she just did it for me.  I was quite touched - I guess literally AND figuratively - that she would actually do that to just comfort me.  Soon, she hovered this blue mask over my face and said "Take 4 deep breaths - it's good clean oxygen for you.  None of that nasty Phoenix air!"  What a sucker I am!  Yeah, right, oxygen.  That stuff was good old sleeping gas or whatever, because I was out in 2.4 breaths!  I didn't remember a thing except once I heard them say something about get a little more help to help lifting.  I assume that was from when they were moving me back to the hospital bed from the operating table.  I bet that took A LOT of people.  Sorry guys.

Soon, I was waking up in the recovery room.  I had the sweetest nurse there.  She just sat by me until I was fully awake and ready to go to post-op.  She'd talk to me periodically and see how I was coming along.  I think she figured I was ready to move on when one of the nurses asked another nurse where she was going and I spoke up and said "In-n-Out to get me a burger.  I'm starving."  I think they must have thought I wasn't too coherent yet because nobody laughed.  I thought it was funny, but maybe they hear all kinds of weird things like that from people coming out of their anesthesia.  Oh well.

So, then I moved over to Post-Op.  I FINALLY got to drink something....but only because I had to be able to pee before I could go home.  Uncle Ward came back and got all the post-op instructions.  He got to talk to Dr. Forest about the surgery. 

Auntie then came back in and sat with me.  All of a sudden, I was hot.  I hadn't been hot in 6 weeks unless I was walking a long distance or such.  I was always freezing.  But, suddenly I was just right.  I then decided I had to pee so off I went to the bathroom.  It was enough that the nurse let me go home.  As I was sitting in the wheelchair waiting for a "roving ambassador" aka volunteer, to wheel me down to the car, I suddenly felt new life in me!  I wanted to actually go "do something."  I hadn't felt like that in weeks!  That feeling didn't last too long, but it sure did feel good to know it was there!

We got home and Auntie made me some chicken noodle soup and bread with butter.  It tasted good to finally be able to eat something.  She did a bunch of stuff around the house for me for which I am very grateful.  Uncle Ward went to the store and picked up my prescriptions and some pads....ew....pads.  Yeah, that's right no tampons for at least 2 weeks.  Hopefully....no tampons for a long time!  I'd be good with never.

So, now, I have a follow-up appointment with Dr. Forest on January 5th to see how things are going, what the pathology report says about the tissue samples they took, and all that jazz.

Today, I woke up feeling like a new woman.  I actually felt like getting up and doing something around here that needed to be done - like decorating the tree or doing laundry or working on Christmas presents or SOMETHING.  But...I was feeling that way laying down.  When I got up for the first time and then used the bathroom, yeah, I decided that the doctor's orders to just rest today and tomorrow were for the best.  So, that's what I did.  I laid on the sofa ALL day.  My neck hurts - I think from keeping it in the same position all day - and my throat still hurts from the tube that was down it, but mostly, the bottom of my lungs hurt because I haven't been breathing deep enough and so it hurts when I cough or go to get up off the sofa.  The best news though is that the bleeding is practically non-existent now.  Just a little here and there.  NOTHING like the day before the surgery!  YAHOOOOOO!!!!!

Melon Man made me breakfast and then we watched Gone with the Wind.  I'd never seen that before.  It was good, but LONG.  After that, we watched an episode of Hoarders.  Then, we watched The Nativity Story.  Our former Relief Society President, Jennifer Bingham, brought dinner by.  I just have to say how much I love that young woman and know she is still inspired by the Lord regarding the sisters in the ward even though she is no longer in that leadership position.  She called yesterday - just about an hour or two after I'd gotten home from the hospital.  She had noticed that I had not been at church the last 3 Sundays and she was just wondering if there was something going on that she could help with.  I thought it totally ironic that she called when she did.  She offered to bring dinner in tonight.  Melon Man asked why - he said he could make dinner for us - but I told him that maybe she needed blessings and service was the way to receive them and I wasn't about to withhold those from her.  It actually takes me a lot to let someone do service for me when I am in need.  I think her service blessed me as well because it helped me let down my guard a little.  She made a yummy white bean chicken soup along with a salad and some bread.  It was quite comforting.  I think Melon Man said she also brought brownies, but he must have eaten those because I don't remember them!

I have a foot doctor appointment in the morning to check up on my toes that Melon Man will take me to and then I am home alone tomorrow.  I think I will come home and go back to sleep to rest up a bit and then maybe try finishing up some Christmas gifts.  I can't lift anything over 10 pounds for 2 weeks so that will be inhibiting, but I'm sure I will survive.  I'm just glad to actually be feeling BETTER!