This week has been odd...to say the least. On Monday, I came into work, sat down in my office, opened my email, read most of the new ones, and then went, hmmm, what should I do now? For the first time in 6 years, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to start with my work. I had no idea what I should be working on. It was the oddest feeling ever.
I am so used to "having it all together" at work - knowing EXACTLY what needs to be done, knowing EXACTLY who to call for this or that, knowing EXACTLY almost everything. Today...well, that was another story. I didn't know what needed to be done. I didn't know who to call for anything. And, I didn't know anything about my new job...well, almost nothing. I felt a huge loss. I felt like I'd gone from a master black belt to a new little kid who still hasn't even been allowed to wear a karate belt. I felt so discombobulated. I felt out of whack. I felt dumb.
At the end of the day, my boss and I were chatting via instant message and he asked how my day had been. I replied, "Weird." He replied, "Intriguing." He asked me if it all felt like "noise." Yes, it did and I just wished I could hear one little voice calling out, saying, "Pick me, pick me!" We chatted back and forth and he told me it would all come in due time. I knew that, but it was nice hearing him say it.
Tuesday, I went into work, had a number of conference calls, and again, talked to my boss. I told him that it felt like the "pick me, pick me" girl was starting to come out and things were started to come together. He was amazed and said that it would have taken him at least 30 days to get feeling that way. I told him it was all starting to slowly come together, but that I still didn't know what to do. He sounded shocked at that so I clarified what I meant and he gave me some pointers/priorities. So, I was on my way and felt better again. Only problem was that it took me ALL DAY to write one email. One! Ugh....Especially after I found out that the first draft of it was going in a completely wrong direction. Double ugh.
Wednesday - again, felt the dumbness settling back in and the discomfort of not knowing exactly what to work on first was back. Drat. But, I pulled out the little list I'd made and I was on my way.
Thursday was a little better.
Friday - good day! My boss and I were on the phone with a colleague and I actually spoke up quite a bit. When we couldn't finish the discussion during the call, I made an appointment with the colleague to meet again on Monday and finalize the plans - without my boss being there. I also had my very first "alone" call with a client and it went really well. Had a bunch of other conference calls and such and found myself with all kinds of notes, etc. just floating on my desk AND in my head. It felt good though to know that I've finally had a good work day and made some progress.
So, that's how the new job is going. I ended up working about 8 extra hours this week just finishing up some old job stuff. Hopefully next week will be back to just 40 hours (of which I can't wait to do one day at home!).